See you again.

I will be taking a short break from this blog. I expect to resume writing toward the end of October.

This blog is a continuation of my very first journal in Japanese:

ミシガンに恋してhttps://esnl.exblog.jp, which remains a precious part of my roots. Later, I began writing here on Blogger in English. Some readers have found me for the first time through this English blog, while others have followed me here from my Japanese writings.

At some point, however, this blog stopped appearing in search results. Perhaps I may have written something Google deemed unfavorable. I have occasionally expressed my thoughts on social issues. Even so, I have no intention of deleting those posts, because for me, a blog is a precious record of my life—capturing who I was in each moment of time.

the seven-colored light emitted by the crystal suncatcher in sunlight

I am deeply grateful to those who still make their way here despite the blog not appearing in searches. If I continue to write sincerely, I believe that one day the blog may once again be indexed in Google Search Console, making it easier for people to find this place. I look forward with hope to that day.

When I return, I want to offer even more engaging posts, something that will bring joy and inspiration to you. Until then, please stay well and happy.

A little extra: a photo of something like oatmeal muffins filled with sweet red bean paste.

For Japanese readers who continue to visit my blog, as well as for those from other language backgrounds, I have written bilingual posts here:

• Finding My Voice, Living My Truth
• Raise a Glass to Yourself — When Effort Becomes a Treasure
• Do pets show up to thank the people who cherished them after they passed away?

Thank you for being part of my journey by visiting this space. 　 See you again soon!   Rose*

Reinventing Tradition: Bistro Quatre Avril’s Simply Apples Tarte Tatin, Sugar- and Butter-Free

Tarte Tatin is a traditional French dessert made by layering apples sautéed in butter and sugar until caramelized, then covering them with pastry dough and baking the whole thing to perfection.

However, the Tarte Tatin at Bistro Quatre Avril is unlike anything you’ll find at other restaurants or pastry shops. Their recipe uses no butter and no sugar at all! Above the pastry sheet, there are only apples and a touch of cinnamon.

This healthier twist comes from the creativity of Chef Bosco at Bistro Quatre Avril. With only the natural sweetness of apples, each bite feels as if nourishment is gently flowing into the body. You can really feel the love behind his philosophy of creating food that is gentle on both the heart and body, even when it’s dessert.

The apples are slowly and carefully cooked in a copper pot to draw out their delicate sweetness. According to Bosco, the pot heats up quickly, but still prevents the ingredients inside from burning. Once the apples are cooked through, they are left covered in the pot overnight to cool. By the next morning, the juice has seeped down to the bottom of the pot. When the tart is finally inverted, the apples cling together perfectly and hold their shape.   －    Look at this artistic thin layer of apples!

The finishing touch is a hearty sprinkle of cinnamon.

When I asked him about it, Chef Bosco even showed me on his phone what kind of copper pot he uses. His passion for cooking shines through whenever he talks about food. What makes him truly remarkable is the way he constantly creates original dishes that are not only delicious, but also healthy and deeply thoughtful.

Bistro Quatre Avril is a French bistro located in Shinagawa, Tokyo. Combining traditional French country cooking with Chef Bosco’s unique twists, it offers meals that are both wholesome and full of flavor. I’ll continue sharing more of these culinary stories from my “Visual Lunch Diary.”

**For the previous lunch diary at Bistro Quatre Avril, you can read about it here: Visual Lunch Diary: 3 Main Plate Highlights from Bistro Quatre Avril

◆Quick Update◆

I am currently preparing for a trip to Michigan. Although I've been studying English until now,  I think it's best to take it easy without rushing at this point. I'll try to stay healthy and do only what I can comfortably manage in my daily life.   Rose 

A Seven-Day Floral Diary: From Homegrown Chrysanthemums to Office Farewell Bouquet

At one point, flowers were gathered in my room. And I took photos of their impressive transformation. Today, I would like to share these photos with you while keeping them as a record. 

2023.11.16

I brought home some chrysanthemums my mother grew at her place. The little chrysanthemums are so cute, embraced by the soft morning light. Dear sweet blooms, how do you find your new surroundings?

2023.11.18

Two days have passed, and the flowers have opened more. 

So there are pink chrysanthemums, huh? They are so lovely. I looked up the meaning of pink chrysanthemums. "Sweet Dreams"! What a lovely flower message💕💕💕  I also looked up that white chrysanthemums symbolize “purity” and yellow chrysanthemums symbolize “friendship.”

A small flower arrangement of happy messages brings a smile to my face as I spend time at home.

2023.11.22

My colleagues held a farewell party for me at work and gave me a bouquet. On the train home, I snapped a photo☆

2023.11.22

As soon as I got home, I put them in a container filled with plenty of water. Welcome to my home! I'm happy to have you here for a while starting tonight.

2023.11.23

The next day... Three-colored chrysanthemums blooming vibrantly in the daylight were amazing. They continue to bloom beautifully. The white chrysanthemums look like marguerites, don't they? 

2023.11.23

They all came to my house around the same time. The flowers, arranged in two vases, seem to share their beauty in harmony.

2023.11.23

The orange-toned bouquet looked even more vibrant as it absorbed water, and I was captivated by its lively presence.

I recorded the gentle yet bittersweet memories of a while ago, alongside the photo diary of pretty flowers. Thanks so much for visiting my flower diary. I hope something here touched your heart.

Finding My Voice, Living My Truth

*This post is written first in Japanese, with the English version in the second half.

会社を辞める頃に気づいたこと

会社生活を振り返ると、私はどの部署にいても「雑務を頼まれやすい人」でした。おとなしく見えるらしく、お願いしやすかったのだと思います。そして、頼まれると断れず、しかも誠実に対応してしまうので、ますます任されることが増えていきました。

けれど、その結果、自分の強みを活かせる場面や新しいことに挑戦する機会を逃していたことに、退職を決めた頃になってようやく気づきました。あのとき、もう少し自分のキャリアを優先して行動できたら違う未来があったのかもしれませんが、会社を去ることを意識し始めた頃には、もう形にする時間は残されていませんでした。

背景にあったこと 

なぜ私は頼まれごとを断れなかったのか。その一因は、家庭環境にもあるのだと思います。子どもの頃から「自分が我慢する側」になることが多く、それが社会に出ても続いていました。職場でも「どうして私ばかり？」と心の中で思いつつも、口に出して断ることはできませんでした。

本来なら「すみません、今は手がいっぱいなので」と軽く断れば済むことも、私は「他にやる人がいなくて困るだろう」と考えてしまい、引き受け続けてしまったのです。他の人がやらなくてはいけない姿を思うとかわいそうで、引き受けてしまいました。その結果、皆が帰ったオフィスで一人コーヒーメーカーを片付けたり、雑誌を整理したり ―― そんな場面もありました。

雑務を通して気づいたこと 

便利屋的な役割をしていると、感謝されるよりも「その人にさせておけばいい」と軽く扱われるようになることがあります。人の役に立ちたくて引き受けたつもりが、本来の業務に負担がかかるうえ、自分の成長の機会を減らしていくことに気づくのは、とてもつらいものでした。

ですが、すべてが無駄だったわけではありません。単調な仕事を引き受けながらも、本業に向き合っていた私に対して「丁寧に教えてくださってありがとうございます」「笑顔に救われました」と言ってくれた同僚も多くいました。その言葉は確かに私の心を支えてくれましたし、今振り返ると自分の存在が少しでも誰かの力になっていたのだと思えます。

今だから思えること

結局、私が雑務から本当の意味で離れられたのは「退職」という形を選んだからでした。世間一般から見れば早い時期だったかもしれませんが、その分これからの時間を、自由に自分のしたいことに使うことができます。

過去の私は、その時その時の自分なりのベストを尽くしていました。だからこそ、もっと早く気づけなかった自分を責めるよりも「よく頑張ったね」と当時の自分に声をかけてあげたいです。

そしてもし今、かつての私のように「雑務を断れず引き受けてしまう」という方がいたら伝えたいです。誰かのために無理をして自分をすり減らす必要はありません。本当にやりたいことに力を注ぐことは、きっと自分にも周りにも良い結果をもたらします。その一方で、早めに新しい道を選ぶことも、時には勇気ある一歩になるのだと。

おまけの思い出

最後に一つ、退職時の思い出を。送別会のとき、私はみんなにディッシュクロスを配りました。ちょうどクリスマスシーズンだったので、「お世話になりました」ではなく「Merry Christmas」のメッセージシールを選びました。今振り返ると、少しユーモラスで明るい締めくくりになって良かったと思っています。

What I Realized When I Left My Company

Looking back on my career in the company, I was always the kind of person who was asked to do odd jobs at the office, no matter which department I belonged to. I probably looked quiet and approachable, so people felt it was easy to ask me. Since I couldn’t say no, and faithfully did my best each time, the number of requests just kept growing.

But as a result, I ended up missing chances to play to my strengths and to step up by trying new things. I only realized this around the time I decided to resign. If I had prioritized my career just a little more, my path might have taken a very different direction. But by the time I noticed, leaving was already on my mind and there wasn’t much time left to make something of it.

Why I Couldn’t Say No

One reason I couldn’t refuse these requests lies in my upbringing. As a child, I was often the one who had to “endure” things, and that carried over into my working life. Even at the office, I often found myself thinking, “Why is it always me?”, but I still couldn’t speak up and decline.

Ideally I could have simply said, “Sorry, I’m too busy right now”. But instead, I thought, “If I don’t do it, others will be troubled”, and so I kept taking it on. I imagined someone else having to do the job unwillingly, and felt sorry for them — so I did it myself. As a result, I sometimes stayed late after everyone else had left, cleaning the coffee maker or sorting piles of magazines, all alone in the office.

What These Tasks Taught Me

When you end up playing a “handy helper” role, people don’t necessarily thank you more. Often it carelessly turns into, “Just let her handle it.” What I thought was kindness or being helpful, in reality weighed on my main work, while also reducing my own opportunities to grow. Realizing that was painful.

Still, it wasn’t all meaningless. Even while I was handling such routine jobs, I kept doing my main work, and some colleagues told me, “Thanks for teaching me so carefully,” or “Your smile saved me.” Those words truly encouraged me. Looking back, I see that my presence did help someone, even if in small ways.

How I Think About It Now

In the end, the only way I really freed myself from these extra tasks was by resigning. It may have been earlier than usual compared to most people, but that means now I can spend more time freely on what I truly want to do.

At each stage, I was doing the very best I could for who I was back then. That’s why instead of blaming myself for not realizing things sooner, I want to say to my past self: “You did your best. Well done.”

If anyone reading this is in a similar position — someone who feels unable to refuse extra tasks — I want to say this: you don’t have to wear yourself down for others. Putting your energy toward what you truly want to develop is also a form of kindness, both to yourself and to those around you. And sometimes, choosing a new path earlier than expected can be a courageous step forward.

A Small Memory

Lastly, one little memory from my farewell party. I gave everyone a kitchen dishcloth as a gift. Since it was the Christmas season, I chose stickers printed with 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Thank you for everything'. Looking back now, I think it was a lighthearted and cheerful way to close that chapter.

Raise a Glass to Yourself — When Effort Becomes a Treasure

A reflection on solitude, sincerity, and the quiet joy of seeing effort turn into treasure.

On the day the yearly booklet was finally completed and delivered,

I went to the bar lounge at Hyatt Centric Ginza Tokyo and quietly raised a glass alone.

In the past, it had been a day to celebrate with many people. But this time, I was by myself.

Out of consideration for a colleague who worked only from home, along with other reasons, tasks that originally weren’t mine had gradually piled on, pushing me to the very edge.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that I alone carried the responsibility for the completion of that project.

I had done my best to help others at work, but sadly, what came back was not always kindness. At times, I even felt as if the favors I had given were returned with betrayal.

Of course, not everything was negative—but I came to realize that people were not always as sincere as I had believed.

I had been keeping a quiet dream for myself: to leave the company earlier than most people do and pursue what I truly wanted to do in life.

My original plan was to follow that path at a later time, but the growing burden of work made me decide to take it a year earlier than I had planned.

Still, I resolved to leave only after completing the final yearly publication in my charge.

Even if no colleagues stood beside me to celebrate, I still lifted my glass:

“You did well. Even in solitude, you worked with sincerity, precision, and care to create something of genuine quality.”

Whether or not anyone understood, I could at least tell myself:  — Heaven knows. Earth knows. I know. —

That was November 1, 2023.

The following year, on November 1, 2024—almost a year after leaving the company—I once again raised a glass, this time at a local wine bar, with that same booklet beside me on the counter.

That booklet, though labor-intensive, had been beloved by both clients and colleagues, who relied on it for marketing. Yet I also knew that the management had considered ending it.

Recently, however, I learned something surprising: the task had been transferred to another department, and the publication was still alive.

“…So it continues.”

Relief gently settled over me. The sheets and manuals I had prepared with care, together with detailed notes for my successor, had indeed been worth the effort.

The booklet remained something irreplaceable—not only for the company, but surely also for the client.

Yes, there were days when I waited for promised contacts that never came.

But even so, I can finally say with confidence: devoting myself sincerely to the people and the work was not a mistake. It was, in fact, part of my dignity.

As for November 1, 2025, I think I will gently observe All Saints’ Day somewhere.

Even after leaving the company, I kept walking, hurt and troubled at times. But now, at last, I feel a quiet calm returning to me. Reflecting back, those five years I spent wholeheartedly creating the booklet have become a treasure in my life.

So if you too are out there, working hard alone, I hope you will raise a glass to yourself.

Even if no one else stands beside you, your sincerity and effort will always remain a treasure.

November 1, 2023 in the bar lounge at Hyatt Centric Ginza Tokyo.

*Below is the original Japanese version.

孤独と誠実さ、そして努力が宝物に変わる静かな喜び

年に一回の小冊子が無事発行され、納品された日。

任務をやり遂げたその日、私は Hyatt Centric Ginza Tokyo のバーラウンジで、一人静かにグラスを傾けました。以前は大勢で祝っていためでたい日。でも、このときは一人でした。

在宅勤務のみを選ぶ人などへの配慮が重なり、本来なら必要ではない仕事まで私にのしかかり、次第にギリギリの状態に追い込まれていました。任務の責任と遂行を、ほとんど一人で抱えていたと言っても過言ではありません。

会社では人助けを惜しまなかったつもりですが、残念ながら、返ってきたのは誠実さではなく、時に恩を仇で返すような仕打ちでした。もちろん、つらいことばかりではありませんが、思っていた以上に人の誠実さを信じることは難しかったのです。

私にはもともと「会社を早めに辞めて、自分のやりたいことに挑戦したい」という夢がありました。ですが負担がますます増えていく現状を鑑みて本来の計画より一年早く、その道を選ぶことにしました。最後の定期発行物をきちんと仕上げる―それを果たしてから、私は会社を去ることにしたのです。

一緒に祝ってくれる仲間がいなくても、乾杯しました。

「あなたはよく頑張った。孤独でありながらも、誠実に、正確で品質の高い完成品を作り上げた」誰に理解されなくても、私の頑張りは ―天知る。地知る。己知る。― そう思えたからです。

これは2023年11月1日のこと。

翌年の2024年11月1日にも、会社を離れて約1年が経った頃に、地元のワインバーで同じ小冊子を手に、もう一度一人で乾杯しました。

あの小冊子は、手間はかかるものの、マーケティングに役立ち、クライアントにも社員にも愛され、大切にされていたと感じていましたが、一方でマネジメント層が廃止を検討していることも知っていました。

ところが最近、驚く知らせを耳にしました。あの業務が別の部に引き継がれ、制作が今も続いているというのです。 

「そうなんだ・・・！」胸の内に安堵の念が広がりました。私が後任のために整えたシートやマニュアル、細かい注意事項が、役立ったのだと信じられたからです。小冊子は、会社にとっても、クライアントにとっても、なくてはならない存在であることを実感しました。

それでも、人からの連絡を待っても返ってこなかった日々は正直に言えば苦しかった。

けれど今なら言えます。私は誠意を尽くして人びとと仕事に向かった、それは決して間違いではなかった、と。それが私自身の品格なのだと、ようやく胸を張れるようになりました。

今度の2025年11月1日は、この諸聖人の日をどこかで穏やかに祝おうかと思います。

会社を辞めた後も傷つき、悩みながら、それでも歩み続けてきた道。そのなかで振り返ると、あの5年間、小冊子に心を込めて取り組んだ経験は、私にとって宝物でした。

だから今、もし同じように一人で頑張っている人がいたら、ぜひ自分に乾杯してほしい。

理解されなくても、共に祝う人がいなくても、あなたの誠実さや努力は、必ず心に残る宝物になるからです。

PRONTO’s Matcha Basque Cheesecake Gets a Fresh Twist in 2025

PRONTO is well-known as a casual café during the day and an unexpectedly chic bar at night. In a previous post, I shared about the Matcha Basque Cheesecake—something like a “reimported” treat—you can only find at PRONTO in Japan, other than San Francisco’s Stonemill Matcha. You can check out that post here. → Matcha Basque Cheesecake from San Francisco...

Matcha Basque Cheesecake from San Francisco's Stonemill Matcha

Well, it seems that this cheesecake was revamped in August 2025! Of course, I had to go and see what’s new.

Uji Matcha Basque Cheesecake made with 100% Uji matcha

The renewed Matcha Basque Cheesecake is now made with 100% Uji matcha. To me, it looks even more vibrant in green than before. It feels a bit softer and more melt-in-your-mouth. The balance is exquisite—the creamy richness of the cheese highlights the subtle bitterness of matcha, creating a truly luxurious dessert. Its silky smooth texture and refined flavor feel like something you’d expect from a specialty shop.

And yet, who would have thought you could get such a high-quality cake at PRONTO, a chain café you can just drop by anytime. If you get the chance, I definitely recommend giving it a try.

With the previous Matcha Basque Cheesecake, it was noted to be Kyoto-grown at Stonemill Matcha, but the details weren't revealed. This time, though, it's been renewed with 100% Uji Matcha — known as one of the top varieties — marking it a bold and exciting step for PRONTO.

Matcha from Japan is gaining worldwide fame and popularity these days. As someone who’s always up for a matcha-flavored treat, I couldn’t be happier. How about you? Have you had a memorable encounter with matcha in your city? If so, then you and I are truly on the same wavelength. :)

◆Quick Update◆

At some point, my blog and photos suddenly stopped showing up in search results. It makes me sad not to be found through Google anymore ;_;  Did I do something to upset Mr. Google, I wonder? Right now, I’m requesting index registration with Google Search Console, but it’s still pending T_T  Fingers crossed that my blog will get indexed soon so everyone can find me again...　Rose

Why I Fell in Love with Chilling Coffee & Bake’s Carrot Cake (and Everything Else!)

Where Coffee Meets Bake: Chilling Coffee & Bake

Right near Hatanodai Station on the Tokyu Oimachi Line, there’s a cozy little café called Chilling Coffee & Bake https://www.instagram.com/chilling_coffeeandbake that has become quite popular. The “Bake” in the name comes from the owner’s background working at patisseries and bakeries, while the “Coffee” reflects his younger brother’s expertise as a certified barista. Their carefully baked homemade sweets paired with proper specialty coffee have been gaining attention on social media, and their fans just keep coming back. 

From Parisian Training to Heartfelt Baking

Hatanodai itself is a peaceful neighborhood lined with quiet residential streets. And tucked away here is a café run by an owner who has professional pâtissier experience, and who even trained in France, the home of fine pastries. What’s charming about this café is that alongside European-style treats, you’ll also find rustic and down-to-earth American baked goods prepared in such a natural, relaxed way. Since I’m someone who absolutely loves hearty American sweets, this place really makes my heart skip a beat.

Crumbly, Moist, and Perfect with Coffee

That day’s cookie offering was—I think—macadamia nut and white chocolate? And yes, it was crumbly yet moist—and absolutely delicious! Since I prefer coffee with a softer, less acidic taste, I went with an Americano♡

A Chill Space Inspired by France

His time in France on a working holiday, where he gained valuable pastry-making experience, became a real turning point in his career. As the café name suggests, his hope was to create a place where people could truly “chill”—a space of comfort. That’s why he chose Hatanodai, with its calm and easy-going atmosphere, as the perfect location. I also loved the green tiles he imported from overseas—they add such a nice, laid-back stylish touch to the café’s vibe.

The Ultimate Carrot Cake Discovery

My number-one recommendation? Definitely their signature carrot cake!!!  I’ve always adored the carrot cake at Bubby’s, but since it’s not one of their standard menu items, I’ve often been left wanting. I kept trying carrot cakes elsewhere, but they just didn’t hit the spot… until I found this one. The carrot cake here is my perfect match!

Next time I go back just to enjoy that carrot cake again, I’ll write another blog post about it. Be sure to come back then and listen to me gush about it some more♪

Rose😊