Yesterday, I knew Fr.Callistus passed away about a month ago. There was a message in my smartphone, but it hadn't popped up. When I saw a different latest pop-up on my phone and opened my SNS yesterday, I found the message that he passed away which was sent to me a month ago.
I lost my biological father in December. About 2 weeks later in December, Fr.Callistus passed away, too. Had I known, I wouldn't have been able to bear losing two precious persons at the same time. Yesterday was February 3rd. The forty-ninth day ceremony after my father's passing had been over.
I am very saddened by my loss. I feel really sad. However, did God let me know Fr.Callistus's news later to reduce my shock? He has made everything beautiful in its time.
It's my comfort that Collie met him when we went to the New Year's Mass at Franciscan Chapel Center in 2018 as he visited me in Japan.
Next Sunday Mass, I went to Franciscan Chapel Center alone as usual. Fr.Callistus said to me, "Ohhh.. Collie is gone..." I answered to him, "But he will come back again." He nodded.
After a long time, I showed up at Mass. He asked me anxiously, "Are you happy?" Also, he was encouraging me with a firm handshake. He knew I was still living in Japan alone while my hope was being married with Collie in Michigan. He knows my heart. I answered, "No... Yes!" I was almost in tears. Looking back －
The "No" was : I am feeling sad.
The "Yes" was : I should find a way to be happy with hope.
Fr.Callistus was really a kindhearted person. Still now, I can imagine how he would say if I opened my mind and said my hope to him.
"Just pray."
He would say gently with a gentle smile like he did before.
God, I am tired.... I am tired of living. Could you let me die? Let me die right now?
Father... I am sorry I couldn't go to Mass during corona pandemic. I sent you an e-mail to say I was looking at you joining YouTube Mass, and to say I was always praying for you. Please forgive me....
Father... May you rest in paradise with eternal love of God... We will miss you forever. Please stay with us and watch over us from Heaven.
God, I will live because I know Fr.Callistus hopes I will live on this earth until the day. So please let us with him in our hearts. We are hoping that he shines down on all of us as he was doing to us at Franciscan Chapel Center.
We are praying forever for our beloved Fr.Callistus,
Raphaela, my baptismal name.
